I'm Not Your Super Woman

Black women, mental health, and healing

Karyn White’s song Superwoman came out in 1988. She sings about a woman overwhelmed by all she does for a lover who doesn’t appreciate her. In chorus, she sings, “I’m not your superwoman,” followed later by “Boy, I’m only human.”

This song debuted the fall I started college. I had made it to my Ivy League campus despite the deaths of my mother and grandmother, the inner city perils of North Philadelphia, and poverty. “Oh, you’re so strong,” said family and friends. I even prided myself on never crying. I joined the legions of black women who are part of what Cheryl Woods-Giscombé describes as the “superwoman schema”—the pressure to appear strong, suppress emotions, resist vulnerability, succeed against all odds, and care for others at the expense of self-care.

black woman superhero flying

The obligation to be a superwoman is rooted in our historical and cultural response to racism and discrimination. And while being strong and resilient can help us survive and make a way out of no way, it often weathers our bodies and minds, costing us our health, especially our mental health.

Black women suffer from higher rates of depression and anxiety, affecting 10-13% of us. Chronic exposure to stress hormones, pressure to be superwomen, socioeconomic challenges, and internalized distress can add up to mental health problems. However, we are less likely to receive care for mental health due to a combination of factors, including cultural stigma, lack of access to care, and implicit healthcare bias. In addition, black women may present with atypical symptoms of mental distress such as chronic pain, gastrointestinal complaints, and fatigue. When we are diagnosed, we often receive substandard care, do not follow up, and are less likely to be prescribed medication.

Help for the Superwoman

Mental health is health. Don’t suffer silently. Seek help. You are worthy. You are human. Please allow yourself to be vulnerable and heal. Start by finding someone you trust to share your struggles with, and also share with your trusted healthcare provider.

Connect with licensed clinicians using the online directories of mental health professionals at Black Mental Health Alliance, Association of Black Psychologists, and Therapy for Black Girls.

Consider alternative mental health practices like:

NTU therapy uses a spiritual and Afrocentric approach to treat mental health challenges.

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) that is culturally adapted by considering race, gender, and systemic oppression can be more effective than standard CBT.

Mindfulness-based interventions that include cultural symbols and spiritual practices, like this song from Alice Coltrane, can decrease depression and anxiety. Check out the black yoga teacher's alliance.

Narrative Therapy uses writing and sharing your story to give a sense of empowerment and control over your life’s narrative. This approach has been very healing for me.

Sawubona Healing Circles are group-based interventions based on the Zulu greeting, "I see you." They use rituals and affirmations to heal and harness the power of community unity.

Somatic therapy uses movement to connect with the body. It can help relieve tension and process trauma and stress on a physiological level.

A word about medications:

Sometimes medications are appropriate to treat mental health conditions like depression and anxiety. If lifestyle and alternative practices are not enough, consider medication. Discuss risks, benefits, and side effects in shared decision-making with your physician.

Sobering reality:

Black women aged 18-65 have the highest rate of suicide risk among women. If you are struggling with ideas of self-harm, contact the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 or chatting with an online provider at 988lifeline.org.

Odds & Ends:

This week, I’m recommending The Strong Black Woman by Marita Golden, which delves into the ethos and myth of the black superwoman. Get a copy from the Weatherproof bookshop.

In case you missed it, here’s my delightful interview with Dr. Veirdre Jackson on weathering and black women’s health.

This week, I hosted a group of doctor moms in my home. We shared our challenges balancing mothering and doctoring. I made some black-eyed pea hummus, substituting peanut butter for the tahini. The recipe is easy to change to suit your taste buds. I love serving this southern pea in a modern and healthy way.

References and further reading:

Woods-Giscombé CL. Superwoman schema: African American women's views on stress, strength, and health. Qual Health Res. 2010 May;20(5):668-83. doi: 10.1177/1049732310361892. Epub 2010 Feb 12. PMID: 20154298; PMCID: PMC3072704.

Nelson, T., & Cherry, M. (2024). Sister Outsider: Superwoman Schema, Emotion Regulation, and Psychological Distress Among Black College Women. Journal of Black Psychology, 0(0). https://doi.org/10.1177/00957984241284985

https://www.auctoresonline.org/article/understanding-the-hidden-struggles-cultural-and-somatic-expressions-of-depression-and-anxiety-in-black-women

Underneath the mask of the Strong Black Woman schema: Disentangling influences of strength and self-silencing on depressive symptoms among U.S. Black women
Abrams, J. A., et al., Sex Roles, 2019

Nobody knows the trouble I’ve seen: The emotional lives of Black women
Burnett-Zeigler, I., Amistad, 2021

The unapologetic guide to Black mental health: Navigate an unequal system, learn tools for emotional wellness, and get the help you deserve
Walker, R., New Harbinger Publications, 2020

14 mental health resources for the BIPOC community
Wilkins, V., Travel + Leisure, May 25, 2021